Shoo Nurse (to the tune of Shoo Fly)

Shoo nurse, don’t bother me.

Shoo nurse, don’t bother me.

Shoo nurse, don’t bother me.

For I still want my sanity.

The Blood Is Not Right (to the tune of The Skirt Is Not Right from I Am La Luna)

This was inspired by a song I taught to a group of second grade students last year from the reading series English to a Beat by Hampton Brown.  The original song is on the right.

 

The Blood Is Not Right!                                        The Skirt Is Not Right! from I Am La Luna

First the blood is too low                                           First the skirt is too big

Then the blood is too slow                                        Then the skirt is too small

The blood for this patient                                           The skirt for La Luna

Will not grow at all!                                                   Does not fit at all!

The level is low.                                                        The buttons are loose.

The level will rise.                                                     The buttons are tight.

This patient’s blood                                                   The beautiful skirt

Is JUST NOT RIGHT!                                             Is JUST NOT RIGHT!

                                                                 Page 5 from this PDF (page 28 – 29 in the book): 

                                                                 http://hbavenues.com/highpoint/library/pdf/hp.basics.tg01.pdf

Oh When, Oh When Do I Pee On a Stick? (To the tune of Oh Where, Oh Where Has My Little Dog Gone?)

Oh when, oh when do I pee on a stick?
Oh when, oh when can that be?
Aunt Flow's not here yet,
But isn't too late
Oh when, oh when will she come?

How Much Will That IVF Cost Me? (to the tune of How Much Is That Doggie In The Window?)

How much will that IVF cost me?
The one with my very own eggs?
How much will that IVF cost me?
I do hope you have it on sale!

Do You Know the HPT? ( to the tune of The Muffin Man )

Do you know the HPT,
HPT, HPT
Do you know the HPT
That's from the pharmacy?

Do you want to test right now?
Test right now, test right now,
Do you want to test right now?
You're only one day late!

Yes I want to test right now,
Test right now, test right now,
Yest I want to test right now,
It's making me insane!

Go ahead pee on a stick
on a stick, on a stick
Go ahead pee on a stick
The morning is the best.

What the hell is this result?
This result, this result,
What the hell is this result?
It's not like on the box!

This looks like a light plus sign,
light plus sign, light plus sign,
This looks like a light plus sign,
Am I really pregnant?!?!?!

Ask the doc to test your blood,
test your blood, test your blood,
Ask the dock to test your blood
To find your HCG

HCG is two-o-three,
two-o-three, two-o-three,
HCG is two-o-three,
Retest it in five days.

What the hell is with this wait?
With this wait, with this wait,
What the hell is with this wait?
I wanna know RIGHT NOW!!!!

Now I'm waiting for the call,
For the call, for the call,
Now I'm waiting for the call,
Just hurry up and ring!

HCG is twelve-eighteen,
twelve-eighteen, twelve-eighteen
HCG is twelve-eighteen
It all looks really good.

Now you need to call gynie,
call gynie, call gynie,
Now you need to call gynie,
You're released from our care.

What the hell am I to do?
I to do, I to do,
What the hell am I do to
Without weekly blood tests?

You will be a normal gal,
normal gal, normal gal,
You will be a normal gal,
Who is six weeks pregnant.

The Testing Dance ( to the tune of The Mulberry Bush )

Here we go 'round the testing dance,
the testing dance, the testing dance,
Here we go 'round the testing dance,
So early in the morning.

Come, Come, Beta Test ( to the tune of Rain, Rain Go Away )

Come, come, beta test,
Make my worries go to rest.

Come, come ultrasound,
Make my worries go to ground.