Jack and Jill

Jack and Jill went up the hill,

To fetch the RE’s advice.

Jack’s sperm is down and not around

And Jill has vaginal lice.

I'm an RE's Patient (to the tune of I’m a Little Teapot)

I’m an RE’s patient, help me out.

Here’s my vagina, here’s my good vein.

When I get all doped up hear me shout,

“Take the fuckin’ needle out!”

Hey Diddle Diddle

Hey, diddle diddle,

A jab to my middle,

The LH jumped over the moon.

The little doc laughed to see such stats

And the bill ran away with a boom.

Shoo Nurse (to the tune of Shoo Fly)

Shoo nurse, don’t bother me.

Shoo nurse, don’t bother me.

Shoo nurse, don’t bother me.

For I still want my sanity.

The Blood Is Not Right (to the tune of The Skirt Is Not Right from I Am La Luna)

This was inspired by a song I taught to a group of second grade students last year from the reading series English to a Beat by Hampton Brown.  The original song is on the right.

 

The Blood Is Not Right!                                        The Skirt Is Not Right! from I Am La Luna

First the blood is too low                                           First the skirt is too big

Then the blood is too slow                                        Then the skirt is too small

The blood for this patient                                           The skirt for La Luna

Will not grow at all!                                                   Does not fit at all!

The level is low.                                                        The buttons are loose.

The level will rise.                                                     The buttons are tight.

This patient’s blood                                                   The beautiful skirt

Is JUST NOT RIGHT!                                             Is JUST NOT RIGHT!

                                                                 Page 5 from this PDF (page 28 – 29 in the book): 

                                                                 http://hbavenues.com/highpoint/library/pdf/hp.basics.tg01.pdf